Anything but Ordinary

Hey guys, finally back from College Station.  It was...well...less than wonderful I guess.  Kinda disappointing compared to last year...but oh well.  For those of you who don't know, Princess had her baby last Saturday before I left on Monday.  She had a girl, and she's gorgeous but incredibly feisty, lol...  About College Station....the Horse Quiz Bowl team got 9th out of 19, which is pretty good because there were some good teams there and we had a not-so-great coach who didn't even go.  One of my friends that was there was being weird the whole time and following me around like a puppy dog which was kind of annoying because people kept asking questions about whether or not we were going out or I liked him or stuff like that, which I don't, he's my friend and absolutely nothing more.  My other friend, who when I first met her could easily pass as my twin except that she wasn't quite as....how do I say it...well, she's a homeschool kid with an incredibly protective dad and brothers, so let's say she didn't get out much and she never did anything wrong, even if it meant missing curfew by 2 minutes.  Now the whole time she wanted to chase guys---literally---with these two other girls and didn't even care about Horse Quiz Bowl.  Don't get me wrong---I like guys just as much as the next girl, but to chase them everytime you see a hot one---and I do mean every time---is just pathetically desperate and annoyingly boy-crazy.  So anyway, that was getting on my nerves quite a bit, and then by the end of the week her and one of the girls she was stalking guys with started fighting and the one I barely knew tried to drag me into the middle of it on her side when I wanted nothing to do with it.  On the bright side, I did actually make a few new friends, mostly guys because the guys from our county are a lot nicer than our girls.  One of them I will probably see and keep in touch with, he's pretty cool.  One of them I knew anyway, I just didn't know him, and I'll most likely be seeing him at some summer stock shows.  One of them I knew through archery, and who knows if I'll talk to him again until archery starts up again.  Wednesday and Thursday night were concerts, Trent Willmon and Aaron Watson.  Both very good, and I got autographs from both.  Trent Willmon seemed to be a pretty nice guy, and Aaron Watson seemed to be a pretty drunk guy and everyone else agreed.  A fairly nice drunk though I guess.

   Anyway, I was very happy to get home, and right now I'm in a pretty good mood but I'm not being very successful at shoving some worries to the back of my mind, but I guess that's just me lately...  Things are looking up a little bit for my uncle, but I'm not going to explain that here because really only two of you know all the details about him.  Not that I don't want the rest of you to know, the opportunity just hasn't come up that I could dump everything out on the table without freaking you out by becoming an insane crying broken down person in the middle of telling you.  Most of you would understand if I was that way anyway, I just haven't really found the right time or place to explain that stuff to you...my point is don't get offended if you don't know what's going on.  =)  Anyways, the fact that things are looking up for him at all is good, and I'm glad, but other worries are being very stubborn about shifting to the back of my mind.

   The filly will either be Nykita(Kita for short maybe) or Dakota, but we're not sure yet.  I like both, but I don't know...  Let me repeat myself: She's incredibly feisty.  Very very feisty.  She likes to run.  She likes to play.  She likes to buck.  She likes to run.  She's very loving when she feels like it.  She likes to roll.  She looks like a dainty little angel, but she's a veeeerrrry far cry from it.  She's adorably spunky.  She likes to buck.  She has bad aim.  She likes to buck.  If you get in the way of her bad aim, although she doesn't kick suuuuper hard, the after effects suck.  Doesn't hurt too bad when it happens, but it leaves a killer bruise afterwards.  And it's one of those that bruises on the inside, not the outside.  She's sweet though.  She's just got a little bit of an attitude.  I like her; she's amusing, lol.

   So everything's see-sawing it's way through my life and right now I'm in a pretty good mood.  Hope everyone's enjoying their summer and had a good day.  =)  Love you guys!

Just got back from San Marcos yesterday; it was decent even though Summersgill was in a crappy mood pretty much the whole time.  Idiot that I am, I completely forgot about Keeley's recital the day before I left and I felt so bad, but it's not like I can do anything about it.  At State Solo and Ensemble, you're scored on a scale of 1-5, 1 being the best, 5 being the worst, and 3 being about average.  The quartet got a 3 because we were all nervous and didn't play our best.  The woodwind ensemble got a 2.  Yippee.  Princess will probably have her baby any day now; my luck probably while I'm gone.  I leave Monday for College Station and will be there for a full miserable week.  Not looking forward to it if you didn't catch that.

Today was nothing short of absolutely horribly tearfully heartwrenching and right now I can't ignore the pain or force my thoughts to the back of my mind.  It's not going away and I don't think it ever will.  My whole family's on the verge of a complete and total breakdown.  Mom's the only one still hanging on to her composure.  I've given up on trying to be the strong one.  After today I just don't think I can be the strong one anymore and hide my pain from my family so that they don't break down.  They've already broken down anyway.  There's not much more I can do for them now, and I can't hold everything back anymore.  I'm trying so hard not to give up, and I'm not, but I can't hide my feelings anymore.  They all saw my tears.  They know we're all hurting.  I can't bottle everything up anymore.  But my friends are still the only ones who know exactly how I felt/feel lately.  I can't even describe my feelings right now.  Somewhere along the lines of fear/misery/worry/and maybe longing.  I'm not sure the right word for it.  I just know I can't stop crying.

.....And then that old friend of yours shows you that it's not that it's nothing you've done---it's nothing against you, not that they don't want to spend time with you anymore, not that they are no longer a "good friend."  They show you that they care.  They knew you before you started drifting, and they remember everything about you.  They can still see when you're upset---they can see it in your eyes and written all over your face, they can read you like a book.  And when they see that something's not right, that you're not okay....they come to your side, ready and more than willing to help you in whatever way they can.  And though their company doesn't fix the problem, you feel at least a tiny bit better, more relieved.  They're still your friend---you know now.  You're not so low on their priority list as you thought.  Most of all....they still care.

Today was decent.  Started out crappy, got better, and now it's on the brink of crashing and burning, although it's not something that I can prevent.  I can't believe tomorrow's the last day of school.  I have one test tomorrow, and after that I have quartet practice for a little while, then who knows what I'm doing.  Fairly easy test tomorrow I guess, I just need to study a little.  Shit, okay day just began crashing and burning already.  I don't want to discuss it, bye guys.